'The Golden Girls' showed us exactly what not to do during a hurricane

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If you look closely, you'll find some valuable lessons from 'The Golden Girls' about what not to do during a hurricane.

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The Golden Girls, that iconic 1980's NBC sitcom about four women living in Miami and defying expectations about what it meant to age goldenly (yeah, I just did that, sue me), taught us a lot of things about friendships, aging, and, of course, cheesecake consumption. But one thing they did horribly was prepare for hurricanes. 

In 1991, NBC decided they needed a hurricane themed night of programming (this is how they did topical humor in the 90's). The network gave The Golden Girls a two-part episode for the evening. "The Monkey Show" followed Dorothy as she finally rid herself of her ex-husband Stan to a stuffed monkey—stay with me now—while Sophia prepares for the hurricane in all the wrong ways, meanwhile Rose and Blanche prepare for an 8-hour telethon to save a lighthouse off the coast of Miami. Oh yeah, and Dorothy's sister Gloria drops by for a visit (because airfare is so cheap during a natural disaster). All this while, to quote Sophia, "a hurricanes-a-comin."

On its surface this feels like just another hilarious episode of a great sitcom. But if you look closer, you'll find some valuable lessons about what not to do during a hurricane.

Don't Tempt a Hurricane With a Shirt That Reads: I'm Ready, Take Me Hurricane

-and-039;the-golden-girls-and-039;-showed-us-exactly-what-not-to-do-during-a-hurricane photo 1 "The Monkey Show" episode from season 7 of "The Golden Girls." Hulu/NBC/Buena Vistia

Who doesn't love a subversive shirt? But when a dangerous hurricane is coming your way, best to avoid Sophia's strategy of tempting the storm to take you away. 

If Bunkered Down, Don't Sleep With Your Sisters Ex-Husband 

-and-039;the-golden-girls-and-039;-showed-us-exactly-what-not-to-do-during-a-hurricane photo 2 "The Monkey Show" episode from season 7 of "The Golden Girls." Hulu/NBC/Buena Vistia

We all have needs, just like Dorothy's sister Gloria and ex-husband Stan, but try and control yourself, you may be stuck with those people for days before someone is able to come and rescue you. Remember, you can't ghost someone if you're forced to sit next to them.

If In An Evacuee Shelter, Don't Try and Turn a Profit Off the Vending Machines

-and-039;the-golden-girls-and-039;-showed-us-exactly-what-not-to-do-during-a-hurricane photo 3 "The Monkey Show" episode from season 7 of "The Golden Girls." Hulu/NBC/Buena Vistia

Just like the reports of gas and airline price gouging in the wake of Irma, don't pull the trick Blanche does by purchasing all the food in the vending machine and then selling it for a higher price. That's just... un-Southern. 

Don't Raise Money to Save a Lighthouse That's Just Going to be Knocked Down By the Hurricane 

-and-039;the-golden-girls-and-039;-showed-us-exactly-what-not-to-do-during-a-hurricane photo 4 "The Monkey Show" episode from season 7 of "The Golden Girls." Hulu/NBC/Buena Vistia

If the lighthouse is already in disrepair, and a hurricane is coming, maybe raise money to help the victims of the hurricane instead of an old lighthouse? Just an idea. 

If You're Going to Raise Money, Don't Use the Opportunity To Get a Date 

-and-039;the-golden-girls-and-039;-showed-us-exactly-what-not-to-do-during-a-hurricane photo 5 "The Monkey Show" episode from season 7 of "The Golden Girls." Hulu/NBC/Buena Vistia

There's a time and place for everything, including love. A telethon in the midst of a hurricane is not a time to advertise on television that you're single. Sorry Blanche. 

But you know what is a good idea? If you're stuck in the house, still have power, and need a distraction, then The Golden Girls is a great option to pass the time. It's in regular syndication and (finally) available on Hulu. 

Stay golden! 

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Article 'The Golden Girls' showed us exactly what not to do during a hurricane compiled by www.newsweek.com

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