Silly scientists, spoiling all our fun by insisting that climate change exists

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Can’t we just fire all these people so they’ll quit talking about climate change?

Those darned scientists. Why do they have to be so negative?

A new Climate Science Special Report says it’s “extremely likely” that human activity has caused more than half the rise in global temperatures during the last 40 years.

The report, which is under review by our Climate Denier-in-Chief, is based on the work of scientists in 13 federal agencies.

Can’t we just fire all these people so they’ll quit talking about this stuff?

A recent draft of the report states: “Many lines of evidence demonstrate that human activities, especially emission of greenhouse (heat trapping) gases, are primarily responsible for recent observed climate changes.”

Please, just stop.

The study could embarrass President Trump because it totally contradicts his stated beliefs. He and some top members of his team — including EPA chief Scott Pruitt — reject the notion that humans contribute significantly to overheating the planet.

Here in Florida, Gov. Rick Scott’s administration fought to stifle this same dangerous idea by telling staff members not to use the words “climate change” or “global warming” in official documents.

Scott has denied giving such an order, but in 2015 the Florida Center for Investigative Reporting found that the evil-word ban had been imposed on contractors, employees, and even volunteers for the Department of Environmental Protection.

Former staff members and scientists working with other state agencies — including the Department of Transportation, South Florida Water Management District and Department of Health — had similar stories.

One episode involved an epidemiologist who was writing a paper with DOH about ciguatera poisoning from Florida seafood. The agency sent back a draft of the study in which every use of the term “climate change” had been marked for deletion.

Does such skittish censoring really work?

Not as well as the governor’s truth-suppression crew had hoped, unfortunately. Folks in Florida are still talking about the effects of rising temperatures.

For hardcore deniers, one big challenge is the annoying and highly visible rise of sea levels, especially in popular coastal destinations.

If Scott didn’t steer clear of Miami Beach on certain high tides, he’d literally have to roll up his trousers before wading across the street to say he still hasn’t made up his mind about global warming.

Image-wise, it doesn’t help that the submerging of South Florida is featured in Al Gore’s new climate-change film, “An Inconvenient Sequel.” Luckily for deniers, not that many people line up at the movies to see fact-filled documentaries.

While Trump has openly scoffed at climate-change data, Scott professes uncertainty. When pressed for an opinion, the governor once famously replied, “I’m not a scientist.”

That non-response allowed him to appear to acknowledge the higher qualifications of climate experts, even as he enacted policies to mute their findings.

(Scott didn’t invent the “I’m-not-a-scientist” dodge. Sen. Marco Rubio had previously used it to duck a climate-change question, and it has since been tried by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and other Republicans).

Trump himself isn’t averse to stealing a good line. Both Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton had promised to make America great again, in those exact words.

But the president can’t credibly dismiss the climate-change question just by saying he’s no scientist – not when he’s staring at a scary, 600-plus page report compiled by scientists from 13 different government agencies.

That’s a formidable stack of evidence. However, the White House has 28 fireplaces, which is more than enough to do the job.

The Guardian newspaper reports that the U.S. Agriculture Department — apparently following Florida’s lead — has directed staff members to avoid using “climate change” in documents. The term “weather extremes” is the preferred alternative.

Now, why can’t the rest of America get on board and put these climate whiners in their place? It’s time to banish reckless pronouncements like this:

“The risk of climate change is clear and the risk warrants action. Increasing carbon emissions in the atmosphere are having a warming effect.”

The source for that lump of liberal, fear-mongering propaganda?

ExxonMobil, the largest producer of carbon-emitting fuels in the world. It’s actually posted on the corporate web site: Climate change is real. Ditto for global warming.

And: “There is a broad scientific and policy consensus that action must be taken to further quantify and assess the risks.”

Again with the science stuff?

Unbelievable — if you’re a dedicated, die-hard denier, that is.

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Article Silly scientists, spoiling all our fun by insisting that climate change exists compiled by www.charlotteobserver.com