Stasi: Trump's inauguration was saddest and strangest in history

Welcome to the most bizarre, divisive inaugural in history.


Hillary Clinton looked like she was going to die, President Obama looked ready to kill, Jimmy Carter looked depressed, and George W., draped in plastic, looked like he was longing to get back behind his beloved shower curtain so he could paint yet another self portrait of himself in the bathtub. (No, I swear.)

As a less-than-full National Mall of supporters cheered, nearby crowds of protesters were turning violent and being arrested.

Welcome to the most bizarre, divisive inaugural in history, an inaugural which was as surreal as Bush’s bathtub self-portraits.

President Trump told us how wretched our country is, as he promised to wipe out radical Islam, even as six clerics offered up prayers.

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The internet dubbed them a diverse clerical group despite five of them being Christian, albeit of different denominations (thus the “diversity”). They were joined by one token Jew. Absent from the prayer offerings were representatives of the other main religions in this country.

Among the six clerics was the first woman to offer an inaugural prayer, Paula White, a televangelist, who helped swing the Pentecostal vote in Trump’s direction.

The President, who never seemed particularly religious before, other than collecting and storing bibles that fans send him, was given a pre-inaugural family service by Rev. Robert Jeffress.

You know Jeffress, of the new $130 million mega-church, right? He’s the guy who called the Catholic Church a “pagan religion,” Mormonism a “cult,” and Islam a false religion. Or maybe the homophobe pastor told the germaphobe President that most gays have AIDS.

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Gold bless America.


Krazy Kanye West tragically did not get the chance — like many, many performers before him — to refuse to perform at the Trump inaugural.

Why? How did such an oversight occur? Seems that even though Trump took time out from picking his cabinet to visit with Kanye, he didn’t pick him to perform at his inaugural.

It simply doesn’t get much more insulting than not getting the chance to refuse to perform like all the other A-listers.

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That’s like not getting the chance to not show up at the Academy Awards.

Trump’s Presidential Inauguration Committee chair, Tom Barrack, told CNN’s Erin Burnett that West was just not “traditionally American” enough for the event.

What? And here you thought that rap was about as original an American art form as you can find.

Yet Michael Flatley, his Feet of Flames and that traditionally American art form — Irish dance — was invited.

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Stand up if you hate America so much that you would put the words “Lord of the Dance” and “traditionally American” together in one sentence.

You, in the back, sit down!


The media was played like a $3 guitar again Saturday when every national TV news station covered the full National Prayer Service attended by a few hundred of Trump’s inner circle at the National Cathedral as hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of participants attended some 600 historic Women’s Marches against the Trump administration around the world.

Worse, and left unsaid, was the fact that Trump packed the cathedral with a record number of evangelical faith leaders – 25 out of 30 – which played right to his base.

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The one rabbi who recited, Rabbi Fred Raskind, read from 1 Kings 3:12: “There has been never anyone like you before nor will anyone like you arise again.”

Did Trump think he was speaking about him?


A bazillion wet, red Skittles spilled out on a Wisconsin Highway last week, turning the road red. The “bad” Skittles were being sent to ranchers to feed, yes, cattle. No, it wasn’t Cow Halloween, but apparently a regular yet horrific way to replace corn, which has replaced grass for cows who aren’t allowed to roam free.

The spilled Skittles were deemed unfit for humans because they were devoid of the imprinted “S.” As in what — “seriously?”

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