The bear hunt gets political

Bear 2017!

The annual bear hunt, or Bearpacalypse 2017, has begun. Being an election year the topic of our ursine neighbors came up at the gubernatorial debate earlier this week. Surprising no one, the two candidates had very different takes on the hunt. Lt. Governor Guadagno has taken care to distance herself from her disgraced benefactor/current governor on a host of issues, the fate of the bears is not one of them. Candidate Guadagno shares Governor Christie's distaste for our omnivorous woodland brothers and has pledged to see them smote and their heads driven on pikes to serve as an example to other wildlife upstarts...I'm looking at you geese. In other words she supports the hunt and has vowed to see it continue.

Her opponent, Phil Murphy, has clearly become a slave to the bear lobby as he has pledged to implement a moratorium on the harvesting of bears for the crime of knocking over your garbage can. Something tells me an especially hirsute fellow in a hat an trench coat dropped by Mr. Murphy's campaign headquarters with a surreptitious sack of primo pinecones. 

Assuming, as everyone has, that Murphy trounces Guadagno in November this will be quite a sea change to statewide wildlife policy. The bear hunt has expanded year after year under Christie, to the point where last year shooting the critters with a bow and arrow became an option. What will happen when and if Murphy commutes the sentence of the native bear population? Are we looking at a Planet of the Apes type scenario? Will the infiltrate the halls of power and systematically drain our salmon reserves? Will they force us to ride tricycles in the circus? The answer: probably.

I for one welcome to our new bear overlords. 

Share on
Article The bear hunt gets political compiled by www.nj.com